I received a lesson on the road about how a different perspective can shape emotional reactions.  Many of us are rushing with deadlines and numerous pressures, it is often difficult to pause and take another person's view. When this happens, it is all too easy to react with an outburst.  That's what happened to me yesterday.

Poised at a two-lane exit to a shopping center, I was waiting for a break in the traffic to turn right while many cars rushed in front of me.  While I waited, a large vehicle pulled up alongside me, waiting to turn left. The SUV was many feet higher than my car, and I could no longer see the traffic approaching from my left.  Accordingly, I had to wait until I again had visibility.



Years ago, I turned right when I could not see oncoming traffic.  Can you guess what happened? That's right - I was smashed by a car traveling the same direction as my turn. Being mindful, I no longer make this kind of turn.

The car next to me had every right to be there. So I patiently waited.  There were breaks in the traffic in front of me, but I could not be sure that I could make a safe right turn.

Behind me, another driver with a high profile vehicle started tapping on the horn.  BLEAT BLEAT!  The message seemed to be, "you dummy, why don't you turn!" She may have been able to see the break in the traffic, but I couldn't.  We did not have the same perspective.

Here is my leadership lesson: when you are ready to berate another person for not acting as you would, remember that he or she may see the world as you do.  Raising your voice, adding emotional pressure and stern looks do not help bridge the gap between different perspectives.  The only thing that will help people come together on their choices is the ability to examine their worldviews, and understanding why each party sees things that way.